New Star Wars villain to be based on the political career of Iain Duncan Smith

The next installment of the Star Wars saga will include a villain based on British Politician Iain Duncan Smith, director of Episode VIII Rian Johnson has revealed.

Speaking to fans at an event in Florida, Johnson explained how he plans to continue in the footsteps of George Lucas by using real life as the inspiration for Star Wars characters and events.

He said: “Iain Duncan Sith is to be one of the most evil and sinister characters in the Star Wars universe. Thanks to the extraordinary CGI made possible by Industrial Light and Magic, Iain Duncan Sith will be composed entirely of semi-sentient faecal slime, the pungent smell of which be available in selected 4D cinemas across Europe and North America in December 2017.”

“Duncan Sith’s career in the Galactic Senate is built on making the poor poorer, pushing children into poverty, and starving the ill and disabled, all while claiming to be able to live on 53 Galactic Credits a week.”

Johnson added: “The turning point in the story arc of this movie is when Duncan Sith forces several million unemployed beings into unpaid labour as part of his Workfare programme, building a giant space-station capable of destroying an entire planet. When left wingers from the Jedi Council confront him about the harmful impact and injustice of his policies, Duncan Sith becomes violent and is fatally wounded in the ensuring light sabre battle.”

A talking Iain Duncan Sith toy is now available in shops, for a RRP of £19.99.  When punched in the balls the toy will play one of several lines from the film, including “I don’t care who’s died”, “I am proud of my record”, and “work sets you free.”

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