Former First Minister of Scotland Alex Salmond has demanded the SNP be renamed the “Scottish National Socialist Party” to outflank Labour, which is currently undergoing a left wing resurgence under left winger Jeremy Corbyn.
Professor Salmond said: “We say the SNP are a left wing or socialist party, but the reality is we don’t actually have any real left wing policies, and this is a problem for the party.”
The former First Minister explained: “With Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour party now tacking to the left, we need to find a way to outflank them without upsetting our moderate middle class support base, who enjoy lavish spending at the expense of the poor.”
“The best way we can achieve this is to include the word ‘socialist’ in the name of our party. If this kind of trickery can work for the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, then it can sure as fuck work for us.”
Current leader of the SNP Nicola Sturgeon was famously unable to name any SNP policies that redistribute from the wealthy to the poor, despite repeated claims that the party is left wing.
First Minister Sturgeon is said to have welcomed Mr Salmond’s comments, and intends to study the proposal.