A couple from Surrey have taken time out from planning their third foreign holiday of the year to ponder the extent to which they would like to destroy the futures of their adult children.
Having enjoyed a lifetime of generous public services, good working conditions and affordable house prices, baby boomers Mr and Mrs Buswell believe they’ve earned the right to a comfortable retirement, funded by the feckless younger generations of today.
Mary, a former admin assistant, said: “We voted UKIP because that nice Mr Farage pledged to stop brown people coming into the country or getting benefits, but neither of us was particularly upset when the Tories won, because we knew they’d keep house prices sky high and would keep screwing over people who are young, poor or foreign.”
Faced with the momentous decision of which way to vote in the referendum on membership of the European Union the Buswells expect to carefully weigh-up the facts, before eventually succumbing to their prejudices about people who aren’t British or white.
Her husband Edward, a former soldier who also worked in the sewage processing industry, added: “On balance, we feel sticking two fingers up to all foreigners everywhere must take precedence over trivial issues like the economic and social benefits of access to the common market or mutually beneficial cooperation with our European neighbours.”