George Osborne completes 27 cuts in 27 days

George Osborne has today completed a total of 27 cuts in just 27 days.

The Chancellor ended his exertions under a statue of Rhodes in Oxford. “It was very, very tough. The 27 cuts were intended to reflect the 27 years Mr Mandela spent in jail before becoming South Africa’s worst president.”

Osborne’s endurance feat has cut more than £1.35 billion and the 2016 Tory Tax Relief total now stands at £56 billion.

Over the course of the 27 cuts he battled eating too much caviar, complaining about a noisy Top Gear Episode being filmed outside, and a desire to laugh at disabled people.

He was also forced to avoid a scheduled cut on the fifth day of the challenge, which meant he had to make two cuts on the final day.

“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” said a very tired Osborne. “Thank you to everyone who voted Tory, and don’t do this at home.”

Jim Davidson, Rebekkah Brooks and Mike Reid are among those who tweeted their congratulations.

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