Antisemitism weaponised and ready to launch within 45 minutes of election result, say Blairites

Accusations of antisemitism have been successfully weaponised and can be launched within 45 minutes of today’s election results, Labour’s Blairite faction has announced.

The announcement was published as part of a briefing dossier titled ‘Corbyn – Unelectability, Antisemitism, and the Futility of Resisting Tory Austerity‘ which was issued to journalists yesterday, and which is understood to have been co-authored by a number of prominent Blairites including John Mann and Hilary Benn.

The document also includes a foreword by former Prime Minister Tony Blair, in which he outlines his desire for the Labour Party to enjoy the same fruits of undemocratic regime change as the people of Iraq are now enjoying.

Audibly hoarse after a full day of shouting accusations at his fellow Labour MPs, late last night John Mann told Newscrasher: “I’m proud to say we Blairites have succeeded in weaponising antisemitism, and can have it ready to launch against Jeremy Corbyn within 45 minutes of the results of the local government elections.”

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