All your problems will cease to exist after Brexit, say Brexit campaigners

Each and every problem that people face in everyday life will immediately disappear if Britain votes to leave the European Union, according a leaflet issued by pro-Brexit campaigners.

The 14745 page leaflet gives an exhaustive list of problems that will cease to exist after Brexit, including ‘being unable to open a carrier bag without using saliva’, ‘ingrowing toenails’, and ‘the presence of Noel Edmonds on television at Christmas’.

Speaking to Sky News after the leaflet was launched, Nigel Farage said: “There’s no real evidence for it, but it’s a scientific fact that everything that’s bad or problematic in this country is caused by foreigners and the European Union.”

“I urge people with little or no grasp on reality to vote for Brexit against their own best interest, and I promise quite categorically that all your wildest dreams will then come true.”

Brexit campaigners have also claimed that once Britain leaves the EU, the significant subset of the public who are bigoted or racist will no longer have to see foreigners, Muslims, or people with brown skin.

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