A UKIP supporting xenophobe has failed to uncover any rational Brexit arguments on the internet, it has emerged.
Eric, aged 49 and from Cornwall, said: “Because the real reasons I want to leave the EU are all racist, I decided to search the internet for rational-sounding arguments that would allow me to pretend my support for Brexit is not actually an irrational hatred of foreigners.”
“Unfortunately, I was only able to find a selection of ill-informed memes largely consisting of a Union Jack and one or more quasi-racist non-sequiturs”
“How the fuck does that help me to justify voting Brexit? It’s almost as if the Leave campaign haven’t been able to come up with a rational case for Brexit.”
Eric eventually finds his way to the UKIP website, where he views a clip of Nigel Farage claiming that the EU is to blame for everything, and that all problems will cease to exist after Brexit.
Confident that he is now able to make a plausibly non-racist case for leaving the European Union, Eric phones his pro-EU nephew and invites him round for a debate over beer – a move he will soon regret.