Brexiter demands continued use of gym despite cancelling membership

By Jeff Sanchez and Dorothy Hotdog

A Brexit voter has demanded continued use of the gym facilities after he chose to cancel his membership, it has emerged.

Daily Mail reader Martin Bumfield said: “I looked at the cost of my gym membership and just felt so angry that this money pays for facilities that can be used by other people, maybe even by foreigners and people on benefits.”

“Ignorant of the benefits of being a member, I reasoned that I would like to spend that money on myself only, and so I resolved to take back control and leave.”

However, soon after cancelling his membership, Mr Bumfield was shocked to find the gym staff had become somewhat uncooperative and even refused to allow him use of the gym’s facilities.

“This is bullying. I’m being bullied by the faceless bureaucrats of a corrupt organisation.”

“How dare they punish me by stopping me from swimming in the pool even though I’m no longer a paying member. It’s my RIGHT as a former member to continue to the use the pool whether they like it or not. And it’s also my right to piss in it if I want.”

Mr Bumfield is now in discussions with the manager about retaining limited use of a range of facilities, but without actually being a member and with a much higher monthly fee. He is also considering whether to cancel his golf course membership, but still shit in sand bunker near the 16th hole.

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