British singles to be banned from dating foreigners online

The government intends to ban British people from dating foreigners online, it has been revealed.

Speaking at the Conservative Party conference, Theresa May lamented: “For far too long, young British people have been free to have friends or date people of different nationalities, much to the anger of middle aged readers of the Daily Mail and Express newspapers.”

“The people have spoken, and it is now essential that we crack down on international friendships and relationships, because they often result in worrying increases in the tolerance and understanding of other races and cultures.”

“Today, I have the pleasure to announce the creation of the Ministry for National Purity, the main duty of which will be to oversee the online dating scene to ensure young British singles are no longer able to fall in love with foreigners.”

“We will introduce legislation that will compel online dating websites to introduce algorithms that prevent British users from dating foreigners. In addition, sites like Plenty of Fish will be encouraged to give preference to Brexit voters when finding potential matches for their users.”

Mrs. May added: “I’m already spying on everyone’s social media activity, but now it’s time for me to take control of your love lives.”

 

 

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19 thoughts on “British singles to be banned from dating foreigners online”

  1. Actually, this is one of the policies I am sure the Tory party is considering right now. After all Tory party is a party of xenophobes, racist and sexist bigots. It is in their nature to hate foreigners and anyone who contributes honestly to this society.

  2. This is because you’re old woman and you are selfish everyone is enjoying between us and you not! Shut up and put a selfie stick on you ass ! May old woman so ugly name Omg

  3. Great initiative! And start with Mr. Farage…I believe he is dating – oh no! he is married – to a GERMAN!!! And Mr. Stuart, husband of MP GISELA (the name says it all!) Stuart….Time to enforce a divorce-task-force.

    Hail May!!!

  4. Of course it is a wind up. Many may think this, but no PM could ever say it, and just for the record, my wife is foreign born, I live in Wales and met her on a visit to England !

  5. This may be a windup satirical piece, (and as such it is hilarious) but the idea is unfortunately consistent with the attitude of many within Mrs Mays label acknowledged Nasty Partys Government.
    However to my mind the spelling was wrong. Its the NASTZY PARTY.

  6. that is totally wrong which should be condemn. i wish she is next pm candidate she will see her and her party popularity. in short b***

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