BBC to stop covering Brexit because it’s been a ‘great success and now the matter is closed’

The BBC will no longer cover anything related to Brexit because it has been a great success and the matter is now closed, it has been announced.

A spokesman for the BBC said: “There is no truth at all in claims that Theresa May’s government has pressured us to hide the appalling negative impact of Brexit from our viewers.”

“The BBC has full editorial independence, which is why we’ve consistently toed the official Conservative Government’s line, giving David Cameron and now Theresa May an easy ride, and at the same time attacking Labour at every opportunity to give the Tories as much of an advantage as possible.”

“It is true, however, that the BBC has a duty to serve the public interest, and the best way to do this is to help the Tories implement cruel and insane policies that will ruin the lives of millions of people, including children.”

Brexit voter Chris Bumfield said: “Our ideological quest to leave an imaginary evil European empire is going splendidly, with no evidence having emerged to suggest that we are not hugely better off than before.”

“The other day somebody who knows things told me Brexit is going badly and that there’s something called ‘currency’ and it’s having a crisis right now.”

“But I put him straight: there is no currency crisis. In fact, every other currency around the world is suffering from hyperinflation due to Britain becoming so much more competitive and wealthy after our historic vote to leave the EU.”

Mr Bumfield added: “And if there are any negative effects from Brexit, which there definitely aren’t, they would be all the fault of the ‘Remoaners’ who keep talking the country down.”

“These Remoaners need to be quiet and help make Brexit a success, because this is a fascist state now and no dissent can be allowed.”

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