Far-right terrorism isn’t proper terrorism, the Sun, the Daily Mail and the BBC have decided.
An anonymous source at the Sun explained: “It would be wrong to label Thomas Mair and other violent far right criminals as terrorists, because a terrorist would need to be an enemy of the state, not somebody who has a similar political ideology to this paper and the Conservative government.”
“And if we allow Mair to be called a terrorist, where would that leave papers like the Sun? Instead of merely being a far-right shit-rag, the Sun would need to be reclassified as a terrorist far-right shit-rag.”
“Rupert Murdoch simply wouldn’t stand for it. I’m almost certain he’d be forced to sack Theresa May if it were to happen.”
One well known Daily Mail columnist said: “We might publish a few words about the latest far-right terror attack on page 13, but we’ll try to blame the EU, immigrants and Jeremy Corbyn instead of the real villains.”
A spokesperson for the BBC said: “Because we’re in the process of normalising the far-right political ideals that the Prime Minister would like the general public to embrace, we have to be careful about how we respond to far-right terrorism.”
“The PM and Rupert Murdoch are both very keen for the public to understand that British fascism is an entirely benign force, as long as you’re white and very thick.”
“In addition to giving a platform to far right extremists like Nigel Farage or inviting fascist groups to join the audience of Question Time, we are also doing our best to pretend that recent far-right terrorist attacks were not real terrorism, and that the terrorists themselves were not incited by the toxic politics of the Tories, Nigel Farage, or the right wing media.”