My golden shower parties were actually research into trickle down economics, claims Trump

Donald Trump’s alleged participation in golden shower parties is entirely innocent and part of a personal research project about trickle down economics, it has been claimed.

A spokesman for the President Elect said: “Mr Trump has been quite clear that he’s going to make America great again, and part of his plan is to use Reagan style economics to revitalize the economy and get it working for billionaires and rednecks alike.”

“With this goal in mind, the President has been leading a program of intensive research into trickle-down economics, with the participation of Russian prostitutes and the Russian FSB.”

“Although the President obtained significant gratification by actively participating in a number of sex acts at a golden shower party, I would like to stress that his interest was purely academic and motivated by the desire to collect data on the vertical flow of urine over the skin of Russian prostitutes.”

“Despite having an exceptional pornographic memory, Mr Trump was unable to memorize the data in its entirety. Fortunately, the FSB were able to secretly film Mr Trump’s research for training and quality purposes, and will be releasing the raw data to the world via Wikileaks the moment the President attempts to renege on any of the dirty deals he has made with Vladimir Putin.”

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