Eggs make heartfelt appeal not to be thrown at UKIP members

Eggs up and down the country have been pleading with activists not to be thrown at members of the UK Independence Party.

The appeal comes in the wake of the Egging of Nigel Farage and Paul Nuttall, who were targeted by activists on the campaign trail in Stoke on Trent earlier today.

One egg who witnessed the attack spoke to reporters soon after: “It was horrifying! I was in the same carton as two of the eggs that made contact with Nigel Farage’s face.”

The startled egg continued: “Why is it always us eggs that get thrown at repulsive right-wing bigots? What’s wrong with rotten cabbages? Or tomatoes even?”

It seems that, while egg-throwing protestors don’t doubt the validity of the eggs’ complaint, there are no plans to change their missile of choice for the time being.

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