Man who opposed Nazis would definitely support fascism now, say UKIP voters

By Jeff Sanchez and Dorothy Hotdog

Former Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who led the nation to victory against the Nazis in the second world war, would definitely support British fascism now, UKIP voters have claimed.

As leader of the opposition, Winston Churchill attacked the Government of the day for not joining the forerunner of the EEC: “We cannot aim at anything less than the Union of Europe as a whole, and we look forward with confidence to the day when that Union will be achieved.

But many leave voters are adamant that Churchill would have sided with their mission to turn the clock back to the hateful, violent 1930s.

Among them is UKIP supporter Chris Bumfield, who told Newscrasher: “Despite fighting tirelessly against German fascism in the Second World War, Winston Churchill would now definitely agree with all the fascist views I hold.”

“What’s more, Churchill would also support Britain’s withdrawal from the European Union, despite being a strong advocate first for the unification of Britain and France into a single state, and later for the creation of a European superstate very much like what the EU is today.”

“Who needs peace and prosperity when we can instead have divisions and hatred of foreigners. I’m pretty sure hatred is going to pay the bills every bit as well as the job I am about to lose when my employer moves out of the UK.”

Bumfield’s views are backed by all-round genius and Conservative MP, Iain Duncan Smith. “I have studied Churchill extensively over the past 17 minutes before this interview, and although he founded the United Europe Movement in 1947, this was obviously a plot by the great British bulldog to bring down a future united states of Europe from the inside. It’s disgusting how a man who fought nazism from the moment he was born has been co-opted as one of the nine founding fathers of the European Union.”

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