Young can’t be allowed to leave UK for better life in Europe, says government

The young are to be forced to stay behind in Brexit Britain to do their patriotic duty for ‘Empire 2.0’, it has emerged.

A senior government source said: “Our plan is to turn the UK into a neoliberal hell-hole run exclusively for the wealthy, while the young are made to work ever harder for less money.”

“This is the patriotic will of the people as expressed in the legally binding referendum we had in June last year.”

“Unfortunately, a majority of young people do not feel the same patriotic fervour as their xenophobic elders, and as a result there is a chance that the young will shirk their patriotic duty”

“Indeed, the Prime Minister is extremely concerned about the prospect of large numbers of young people seeking out a better life elsewhere in the EU, where the young are not made to work as virtual slaves for a standard of living that is lower than the average retiree.”

“Rather than do the right thing, we’re just going to strip the young of their EU citizenship to prevent them escaping Brexit Britain in search of a better life in the European Union. The people have spoken and this is what 100 percent of them voted for.”

Commenting on the prospect of an exodus of young people to the continent, Leave voter Chris Bumfield said: “What we’ve gained is so much more important than trivial things like jobs, quality of life and well funded public services.”

“I don’t understand why young remoaners can’t employ anti-logic to arrive at the same nonsensical conclusions as I have.”

“However, In future years the young will definitely look back and thank us for how we’ve totally fucked up their lives.”

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9 thoughts on “Young can’t be allowed to leave UK for better life in Europe, says government”

    1. There was this referendum last year. I’m surprised you missed it – it was all over the news. Not heard much about it since though.

  1. Yes we all knew that, that is why we voted for our children and grandchildren to all live together, stuff the housing shortage , they will be needed as all carers will have gone home to foreigner land . I can’t see any other Brits other than family wiping our butts in the future . So they mustn’t be allowed to leave.
    Maybe they could do a double shift and include some fruit picking , wouldn’t that be wonderful a fresh basket of fruit every day in exchange for a days work .
    Us oldies will have it GREAT !!!!!

  2. I really can’t see this being genuine news, however, I do feel that deep down and privately this is what the majority of Brexshitters do think. True or not we’re in for some dark times ahead.

  3. Hey Pat this is freedom of choice…you’d better wipe your ass yourself. Did you live your live? Let them live theirs you Grumpy Granny!!!!

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