The real fight to stop Brexit will only start once Brexit has permanently fucked the UK economy, it has been decided.
Speaking on condition of anonymity, one Conservative back-bencher told Newscrasher: “I passionately believe Britain is making a gigantic mistake in leaving the EU, as do a majority of the public, but now is not the time to rock the boat and risk my career or the associated perks I get.”
“Some may say we are spineless cowards for letting the fascists win without a fight, but the real fight-back can only begin once Brexit has become irreversible and the UK economy has been fucked up beyond all recognition.”
“And that is why I will be voting with the government to ensure Brexit happens as quickly as possible, with maximum disruption to the millions of bargaining chips currently living in the UK, and the millions of Britons living elsewhere in the EU.”
“And besides, Theresa May has threatened to have my skin made into a pair of luxury leather trousers for her next Vogue photo-shoot. You think I’m joking, but if rumours are to believed Michael Heseltine has already been turned into a pair of lampshades for Chequers.”