Trust us, we’re not blatantly lying to you this time, plead senior Tories

Just trust us, we’re not blatantly lying to you this time, senior Tories have pleaded.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, a senior Conservative figure told Newscrasher: “My party lied or cheated in every single general election we have ever won.”

“But this time the people should definitely trust us with the economy which we always put into recession, and the public services which we always destroy.”

“The public have to know that if they don’t vote Tory this time, then Labour might get in and start doing things like revitalising the economy and properly funding things like education and the NHS, and that would represent a major threat to our national security.”

“Voters who are considering voting Labour must also realise that even if they agree with many of Jeremy Corbyn’ policies, the man is totally unelectable like all previous Labour leaders.”

“Except of course for Tony Blair, who made a pact with Rupert Murdoch to gain his backing for the 1997 general election.”

Member of the public Chris Bumfield, from Plymouth, said: “The Tories have lied and abandoned their election promises before, but I’m willing to give them a seventh chance because in the Sun I read something about Jeremy Corbyn being a dangerous far right extremist and unelectable.”

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