I love the smell of ripped up foxes in the morning, says Theresa May

In association with piggate2

I love the smell of ripped up foxes in the morning, Theresa May has announced.

Speaking on the campaign trail, the Prime Minister said: “I support fox hunting because I love the smell of ripped up foxes in the morning.”

“Fox hunting is an entirely wholesome sport for white, heterosexual Conservative voters who care little for the well being of animals or other human beings.”

“And the reason I am able to state such a hateful opinion today is that I have most of the mainstream media in my pocket, including the BBC who are doing a fantastic job of holding Jeremy Corbyn and Tim Farron to account for attempting to defy the iron will of the people that I embody.”

“The BBC would never dream of asking me questions like ‘do you approve of homosexuality?’ or ‘why are you so unelectable and are you going to immediately resign?’, because they know they’d lose their charter.”

“And besides, my party has filled the BBC with secret and not so secret Tories, who are more than happy to help turn Britain into a one-party state where no criticism of the Conservative Government is heard, except on alt-left fake news websites like The Canary and Another Angry Voice, both of which should be banned.”

Conservative activist Chris Bumfield said: “Fox hunting is great because it’s something people did in the past, and going to back to thing we did in the past is brilliant.”

“Like Brexit, fox hunting is definitely going to make Britain great again.”

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