Invisible magic door would solve Northern Ireland border issue, says David Davis

An invisible magic door would solve the Northern Ireland border issue, the Brexit Secretary has claimed.

Writing in the Sun, David Davis said: “Northern Ireland could be in and out of the EU at the same time, but if that idea is rejected by the EU then I propose we invent an invisible magic door to solve the Irish border problem.”

“In recent years Britain has become a world leader in magical thinking, and we could bring in the best minds to work out the exact details of how our invisible magical door would work.”

“The door would be large enough to allow articulated lorries to pass through, automatically scanning their freight load and applying import duties, but obviously would prevent immigrants and criminals from entering,”

Iain Duncan Smith has reportedly asked whether the magic door could have an iron sign above it showing the words “work sets you free”, and for the road leading through the buffer zone to be lined with crucified benefit claimants.

The former Minister For Manslaughter said: “This initiative represents an excellent opportunity to hound the poor and vulnerable, in a way that will appeal to sick right wingers who vote Conservative.”

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