David Davis resigns to spend more time with his magical fantasies

David Davis has resigned from his post, to be able to spend more time with his magical fantasies, it has been announced.

The former Brexit Secretary explained: “For years I have lived in a surreal fantasy dream world where the normal laws of physics do not apply, allowing me to avoid the reality of a realistic Brexit.”

“But when forced to agree to a workable plan for Brexit that does not involve economic catastrophe and mass job losses, I have been given no choice except to resign in protest.”

“I now look forward to spending more time with my magical fantasies, where unicorns roam freely across purple plains while singing Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.”

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