Tag Archives: BBC bias

“Balance” means giving suspected criminals and fascists a platform to lie, says BBC

Suspected criminals and blatant fascists must be given a platform to lie to the public because of “balance” rules, the BBC has announced.

The announcement comes as suspected criminal and far right activist Arron Banks is set to appear on The Andrew Marr show.

Defending the decision on Twitter, the right wing BBC host Andrew Marr wrote: “As the state broadcaster, the BBC has strict rules handed down from the Conservative Party which means that if it is unavoidable that some uncomfortable facts come out, then we need to balance those facts by letting someone from the far right spout lies unchallenged on live TV.”

“For example, the failed businessman Arron Banks is being investigated for crimes related to the source of his large donation to the Leave campaign. But because revelations about his alleged criminal activity means the validity of the referendum vote is now highly questionable, our balance rules kick in and he must be allowed to tell his side of the story, which is basically just a pack of lies.”

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“We also have to consider the will of the people, which is and always will be what the Conservative Government say it is, so Brexit is the only true path and all other options are unpatriotic and antisemitic.”

“Under the same rules, we are also obliged to hold the opposition to account over their treasonous attempts to seize power via the ballot box. And that’s why we’ll need to spend the whole of next week talking about claims of Labour antisemitism, to take the heat off our strong and stable dear Leader who’s in the shit for blocking criminal investigations in criminal activity by Brexiters.”

Leave voter Chris Bumfield tweeted: “Arron Banks should be given a knighthood for leading us to national salvation, so I utterly reject the really strong evidence for him being a treasonous criminal and lying twat. I don’t care if Brexit was basically a huge con which will ruin all our lives, as long as injustices like Polish workers receiving Child Tax Credits while working in Britain are ended.”

And who cares if the young won’t be able to go and study or work abroad? They can easily get a job picking fruit or wiping elderly people’s bums as a result of the exodus of EU workers, so the young should really be thanking us for the exciting job opportunities we ave created for them.”

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Corbyn image wasn’t photoshopped, it was done in MS Paint, claims BBC

Faked imagery of Jeremy Corbyn was done in MS Paint and not Photoshop, the BBC has claimed.

The BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg said: “As the state broadcaster, the BBC has a moral and legal obligation to hold the opposition to account, and to defend the elected patriotic government from left-wing attempts to seize power via the ballot box.”

“We have been accused of using Photoshop to create a fake image of Jeremy Corbyn wearing a Bolshevic hat in front of the Kremlin, to create a visual lie suggesting that he is a traitor and a Russian stooge.”

“However, the accusation against us is completely untrue. In actual fact, we used MS Paint to make the fake image, not Photoshop as a number of anti-British traitors have suggested.”

Kuenssberg added: “Because the accusation of photoshopping is untrue, Jeremy Corbyn should now immediately resign and let the Blairites take Labour back to the good old days of waving through Tory austerity.”

“Even if we had used Photoshop instead of MS Paint, Jeremy Corbyn should still have to resign because of his dangerous humanist ideals, such as making the super rich pay tax and making sure the little people get decent healthcare and public services.”

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BBC defends its role in holding the opposition to account

The main role of the BBC is to hold the opposition to account, the broadcaster has reiterated today.

In a press release issued this morning, the BBC stated: “Because only a Conservative or UKIP government will provide the strong and stable government that the British people crave, the BBC has a moral and legal obligation to hold the opposition to account as they traitorously attempt to overthrow the will of the people via the ballot box.”

“Because a majority of licence fee payers voted for Brexit, the BBC fully intends to respect the iron will of the people and will give full support to the Conservatives and UKIP, as they try to make the country fairer to hard working individuals who earn £200,000 or more. ”

The BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg said: “As a prominent right wing journalist I find it abhorrent that potentially terrorist organisations such as Labour, the Liberal Democrats and the SNP are openly trying to subvert the sacred will of the people as embodied in Theresa May.”

Their treasonous suggestion that people should consider voting for anyone other than the Conservatives constitutes a serious danger to the security of Britain.”

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BBC declares war on Stewart Lee and other comedians who criticise Tories

The BBC has declared war on Stewart Lee and other comedians who’ve had the audacity to criticise the Tories, it has emerged.

A spokesperson for the BBC told Newscrasher: “The BBC has a moral and legal obligation to support the Conservative government in their heroic war against the poor and vulnerable.”

“And that is why we are systematically censoring comedians who expose the evil behaviour of the Tories, but do not provide balance by calling Jeremy Corbyn a dangerous antichrist vampire far more frequently.”

“In the coming weeks, we will hold talks with government ministers to decide which comedians are failing in their moral duty to criticise Labour all of the time, and which ones are not turning enough of a blind eye to the massive scandals, corruption and illegal behaviour of the Tories.”

“We’ve already canceled Bafta Award winner Stewart Lee’s show, ostensibly because we wanted to do a remake of Porridge instead, but the real reason is he used satire to expose and ridicule the right all too effectively.”

“And Charlie Brooker’s hugely popular Weekly Wipe has also been canned because he picked up on how the BBC and other broadcasters have tried to smear Jeremy Corbyn.”

“By canceling such shows, we hope to free up resources that can be better put to use by producing an even greater number of the totally shit programmes that Baby Boomers watch, or by making Question Time even more biased.”

“And it goes without saying that we are dead serious about helping the Tories establish their 100 year Reich, by preventing dissenting views from being aired.”

Speaking out against this kind of nonsense, Stewart Lee wrote (in the Guardian): “Essentially, while I am allowed to exaggerate for comic effect (if it is considered by the lawyers that the exaggeration is obvious and clearly authored by an unreliable and biased character, ie me), I am not allowed actively to lie. And it struck me as strange, as I watched the eggs rain down on Conservatives this month, that my standup comedian’s lowly standup comedy routines are held accountable to higher legal standards of truth and decency than, for example, a prime minister’s conference speech.”

“Cameron’s repeated smearing of Corbyn in Manchester, for supposedly saying 9/11 was not a tragedy, when he obviously did the complete opposite, is the case in point. Paradoxically, while the BBC can broadcast Cameron’s lying speech in full, without any critical analysis or disclaimers, if I had written the same comments in a standup comedy routine the lawyers would tell me it could not be transmitted.”

When asked whether the BBC will apply this new policy to their news and current affairs output, the spokesman laughed in our reporter’s face, and said: “Ironically, here at the BBC we actually demand a higher standard of truthfulness from comedians and satirists than our own political editors like Laura Kuenssberg adhere to. So fuck you.”

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BBC to stop covering anything Labour say or do

The BBC will cease to give any coverage to anything the Labour Party say or do, it has been announced.

The BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg said: “The Conservatives won the 2015 general election, and the BBC will now respect the will of the people by completely ignoring the Labour Party.”

“The total absence of Labour from the BBC should then give the impression that Labour provide no opposition whatsoever, and subsequently we expect the popularity of the party to fall even further.”

The former Conservative Journalist of the Year added: “But don’t worry, from time to time we’ll still run negative stories on Jeremy Corbyn, like the one where we blamed him for all the delays on Southern Rail services.”

Labour’s Hilary Benn said: “I have nothing but praise for this visionary new policy of overt bias against a party I am trying to destroy from the inside.”

“I agree with anything that damages Jeremy Corbyn and his mostly left wing shadow cabinet.”

“I pray that Labour will soon abandon its unrealistic ideals such as helping the poor and vulnerable, or having proper public services, and go back to its right wing, warmongering roots.”

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Why I bully left wing and pro-EU panelists on Question Time, by David Dumbleby

By the BBC’s David Dumbleby

Over the past few months, there have been numerous complaints about the very clear right-wing, pro-Brexit bias that I inject into the BBC’s flagship political debate programme Question Time. It is now time for me to answer my anti-Britain accusers who are antisemitic Trotskyites and who are treasonously trying to overthrow the government via the ballot box.

People have asked me why our studio audience always seems to be packed full of right wingers and Brexit supporters. The answer lies in the fact that the BBC is obliged to ensure a balance between the different parties and views that prevail in the country. The government are widely hated by the public and are deliberately crashing the economy for their own personal advancement, and the BBC has a legal duty to strongly over-emphasize the other side of the debate by inviting hard right or bigoted panelists, and by inviting UKIP and EDL supporters to join the audience.

In addition, I am careful to allow right wingers and bigots to speak uninterrupted, while always interrupting and bullying left winger and those who are interested in improving the lives of ordinary people.

Although Question Time is currently highly biased, over time this bias will be transmitted to the general population and become ‘normal’, so that eventually most of the public will be far-right, neo-liberal fanatics who hate the very idea of the welfare state and socialised healthcare almost as much as they hate foreigners and the poor.

My hope is that in the long term, the ordinary people never actually wake up to the fact that the rich ruling elite are responsible for their fall in living standards, instead of the foreigners and people on benefits that the right currently tell them to blame.

But the challenge for the coming decades of rule by our glorious dictator Theresa May will be to find new scapegoats to wrongly blame once the foreigners have all been deported, and once the poor and sick are all dead.

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We have a duty to report Conservative lies as facts, says BBC

The BBC has a legal and moral duty to report Conservative lies and misinformation as facts, it has been announced.

Speaking exclusively to Newscrasher, the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg said: “As an integral part of the state propaganda network, the BBC has a legal and moral obligation to give undue prominence to claims made by the Conservative government, and to present their lies and misinformation uncritically and without scrutiny.”

“At the same time, we absolutely have to lead the media crack down on Labour, who are antisemitic and are trying to overthrow the government via the ballot box.”

The former Conservative Journalist of the Year added: “If Jeremy Corbyn’s red menace succeeds in thwarting the heroic austerity and NHS privatisation programmes of the most popular government in the history of Britain, then the nation truly will be in the shit, because it could lead to a slight decrease in the bank balance of some of the richest people in Britain and that would be unjust.”

 

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