Tag Archives: dictatorship

Great repeal bill will give ministers power to choose next Labour leader

The Great Repeal Bill will give ministers the power to choose the next leader of the Labour Party, it has been announced.

A spokesperson for the Government told reporters: “Because Brexit means Brexit, it is important that the Government has the full cooperation and support from opposition parties.”

“And this is why His Excellency David Davis will use plenary powers to change the law on the election of opposition party leaders, to ensure the government is given the opportunity to approve or veto new leaders of Labour or other parties.”

“David is now drawing up his shortlist of approved candidates for the next Labour leader, including Luke Akehurst, Tom Watson and John Mann.”

While there has been uproar on the left of the Labour Party, many MPs welcome the changes. Speaking out about the move, Labour’s Deputy Leader Tom Watson said: “This brilliant initiative could lead to my party having a more sensible leader who is relaxed about stuff like austerity and widespread human rights abuses, like I am.”

Image credit: Horace McSavage


BBC should respect will of people and stop airing anti-Brexit views, says Government

The BBC must respect the will of the people and stop airing anti-Brexit views, the Government has said.

Speaking on BBC Question Time, a Conservative minister said: “The British people have spoken. Even though they were tricked by lies and fake news, the people cannot be allowed to change their minds, ever.”

“There is now only a short window of time left before the Conservatives install themselves as a full dictatorship with the ability to exercise plenary powers, answerable to no-one.”

“Therefore, at this crucial time the government requires the BBC and all other media outlets to dissuade the people from doing anything silly, like disagreeing with the will of the people as dictated by our Lord Protector Theresa May.”

“These extraordinary measures will be needed only for a short while, until the Enabling Act 2017 (Law to Remedy the Distress of People and Reich) has been passed into law.”

“At that point the Reich Kabinett and the Fuhrer herself will be free to rule by decree, free from interference from the treacherous democratic elements that have dogged Parliament for centuries with their moderate ideals.”

Nodding in agreement, the show’s host David Dimbleby said: “Yes, and as the state broadcaster the BBC has a legal and moral obligation to help the Tories stay in power and hold to account the opposing political groups, be they Labour or traitors who wish to remain in the crumbling EU.”

“Take the BBC’s reluctance to give coverage to the large anti Brexit march in London a few days ago. This was the largest protest in the UK since the Iraq war protests in 2003, but we managed to downplay the size of the crowd and give the impression that it was nothing more than a small group of hard line activists, not a popular movement against the heroically dictatorial government we now enjoy.”

A spokesman for Labour’s Jeremy Corbyn said: “Jeremy opposes the Tories with all his strength, and that is why he intends to impose a three line whip to make sure Labour MPs vote with the Government on this important issue.”

Image credit: Horace McSavage