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BBC gets banned from Facebook minutes after launch of ‘fake news’ algorithm

The BBC has been banned from Facebook within minutes of the social media platform’s launch of a new algorithm that detects and blocks ‘fake news’, it has emerged.

Tory propagandist Laura Kuenssberg expressed concerns about the growing public awareness about ‘fake news’, saying: “As propagandist in chief of the Conservative Party, it is my legal and moral duty to hold the Labour opposition to account using lies and highly biased reporting.”

“When I first heard that ‘fake news’ was to be targeted on social media, I assumed Facebook were looking to crush the independent, left wing news websites that have filled the vacuum left by the predominantly hard-right mainstream media.”

“Sites like The Canary have already done far too much to expose the truth about me and my Conservative masters, and there are many people in parliament or in the mainstream media who would love to see independent, left wing media disappear.”

“However, I was deeply disappointed to learn that news stories put out by fake journalists like me are also going to be put under objective scrutiny.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to keep the working people of Britain ignorant and oppressed if I’m prevented from inserting my lies into the social media feed of unsuspecting voters?”

The Conservative Journalist of the Year added: “The PM is absolutely livid, because this raises the possibility that voters may discover the truth about how she’s trying to screw them in so many devious ways.”

A spokeswoman for Facebook has given assurances that users will still be able to opt-in to receive BBC ‘fake news’ in their feeds, but it will come tagged with the words ‘Biased Bullshit Corporation’.

Sun and Daily Mail could stop publishing fake news after crackdown by Facebook and Google

Several British tabloid newspapers, including the Sun,  the Daily Mail and the Daily Express have come under pressure from Facebook and Google to stop publishing fake news, it has emerged.

Daily Mail Columnist Katie Hopkins reacted angrily, telling listeners on LBC: “Were it not for the naked lies that the Mail, Express and others told during the EU referendum campaign, we would not be sitting here today planning for our glorious departure from the EU.”

“Outright racism and xenophobia would also not have become so socially acceptable as it is now thanks to the way certain heroic newspaper editors stoked fear and resentment towards foreigners and people who are not white British.”

“Surely we should be praising these patriotic newspapers and their staff, instead of trying to stop their foul lies from spreading all over social media like a virus?”

Sun editor Tony Gallagher was even more defiant: “At the Sun we haven’t actually published a factual story since 1983, and we have no intention of starting now.”

“If we’re forced to actually publish real stories and facts, how would we ever keep the working classes oppressed for our Tory masters?”

“An irrational fear of immigrants, Muslims and the EU is all that stands between the grossly unequal society of nightmares we have now, and a centre left paradise where wealth is much more fairly distributed and everybody has opportunities to succeed in life.”