Tories have expressed anger over alleged ‘humanist plants’ in the audience of BBC Question Time, it has been learned.
Conservative councilor Chris Bumfield said: “Many of us have noticed the increasingly sinister presence of normal, humanist people in the audience of Question Time.”
“The people have clearly spoken, and they want the country to be ruled by a gang of sociopaths who are intent on stripping the people of their dignity, their food, and eventually their lives.”
“Something must be done about this, and that is why I will be sneaking into the Question Time audience next week by pretending to be an ordinary member of the public. I urge other small-time Conservative councilors to do the same.”
“I have yet to decide what I’ll ask, but it’ll probably be something about Corbyn being unelectable and how my party is giving more money to the public services than ever before.”
“That’s precisely the kind of bullshit like that should keep the most gullible, Tory-voting members of society in their rightful place at the bottom.”
The debate about the perilous state of the National Health Service is not as interesting as giving a platform to xenophobics, the BBC’s David Dimbleby has argued.
Speaking on this week’s BBC Question Time, the former Bullingdon Club member said: “I take my role as host of the BBC’s flagship propaganda programme extremely seriously, just like the show’s audience producer who deliberately packs the audience with people who support UKIP and other far right groups.”
“For the good of the Government and in the interest of national security, we try to avoid debating the NHS because it’s a topic that tends to favour unelectable left wing parties who actually give a shit about public services and the well being of people.”
“Instead, we arrange it so that the majority of time is taken up with Brexit and other topics that can be used to bully left wing panelists, much to the political advantage of the Conservatives and other right wing extremist parties.”
“And if it looks like a Labour politician is about to make a popular point about how they would spend more on the NHS, I’ll quickly interrupt under the guise of ‘balance’ and state as fact my personal opinion that the Conservatives AND Labour are both wrong.”
The BBC have inadvertently broadcast footage from Adolf Hitler’s 1933 Nuremburg rally in place of Question Time and nobody noticed a difference, it has emerged.
UKIP Leader Paul Nuttall said: “I tuned in to BBC1 expecting to watch a studio full of people blaming all our problems on immigrants and remain voters. So it was a pleasant surprise that instead of the scheduled live broadcast of Question Time, the BBC appeared to have inadvertently shown one full hour of Adolf Hitler speaking to a Nazi horde at Nuremberg in the 1930s.”
“Although my political ideals are quite similar to those of the Nazis, I would like to emphasize that there are some big differences that I would like potential enemies of the state to keep in mind.”
“Unlike the Nazis, I am pushing for fascism to be instituted in Britain in the year 2016, not in 1930s Germany.”
However, not all viewers were happy with the BBC’s mistake. Chris Bumfield from Milton Keynes told Newscrasher: “It took me twenty minutes to realise that I was watching a far right politician scapegoating a perceived internal enemy to a gullible right wing audience in the 1930s, instead of the expected BBC programme showing far right politicians scapegoating a perceived internal enemy to a gullible right wing audience in 2016.”