Jeremy Hunt is definitive ‘living proof’ that the body can survive without a brain, doctors have announced.
The discovery was made after an MRI scan, taken during a routine health check of Mr Hunt last December, showed his cranium to be completely empty.
Medical researchers from around the world have heralded the discovery as a major breakthrough in the area of neuro-political science.
Professor Chris Bumfield of the Brexit Science Institute told Newscrasher: “Researchers have long suspected that living among us are a small number of individuals who are able not only to survive, but to lead an ostensibly normal life and sometimes even enter politics despite having no brain whatsoever.”
“Previously written off as an urban legend, Jeremy Hunt is living proof that the so-called ‘brainless politician’ phenomenon is real.”
However, the Health Secretary has denied the claim: “I can assure you that I do in fact have a brain, and a very good one at that.”
“To the untrained eye I appear to be utterly incompetent, but in reality I am a scheming evil genius who is deliberately running the NHS into the ground, for personal political and financial gain.”
“Once I have brought the NHS to its knees, I will propose the introduction of patient fees and eventual privatisation as the only possible solution to the crisis I have manufactured.”
“It’s just too bad about all the people who will have died unnecessarily as a result of my actions, which some have alleged could see me prosecuted for the criminal offence of misconduct in public office.”
“Thankfully, with the might of the right wing media and the BBC on my side, I have no doubt that millions of gullible members of the public will fall hook, line and sinker for my dirty little scam.”
