Right wing entryists in the Labour Party are furious that left leaning members of the public have attempted to join the party, it has emerged.
Speaking exclusively to Newscrasher, the right wing entryist Iain McNicol said: “When we realised Jeremy Corbyn might actually win the leadership contest, we knew our only hope would be to disenfranchise those new Labour members who we deemed most likely to vote for Jeremy.”
“Tom Watson very helpfully came up with his ‘Trotskyites’ conspiracy theory, which the media have helpfully regurgitated to give the impression that ordinary people who would like a fairer redistribution of wealth are in fact dangerous subversive communists.”
“He did initially propose issuing all Labour members with a tin foil hat to block Jeremy’s hard left mind control rays, but in the end we went with the Trots and commies line instead.”
“Unfortunately, despite the victory of our anti-democratic court case of disenfranchisement, it does look as though Jeremy may still win.”
“However, all is not lost. Thanks to several large donations from extremely rich spivs, our lawyers are currently preparing an even more expensive court case that would have Angela Eagle declared winner of the leadership contest if Owen Smith fails to win.”