I’ve had an ‘Aleppan conversion’ to Brexit, says Theresa May

By Jeff Sanchez and Dorothy Hotdog

The Prime Minister has had an ‘Aleppan conversion’ to the Brexit cause, the government has announced.

A spokesperson for dictator Theresa May said: “After seeing Syrian city of Aleppo being reduced to rubble by a series of abysmally bad decisions by the Syrian government, with the help of foreign powers and terrorist militias, she is now convinced that we should try something similar here in the United Kingdom. She calls it her Aleppan conversion to Brexit.”

“It’s like a Damascene conversion, only way more destructive.”

It is understood that although Mrs. May had initially been disinterested in leaving the EU, she soon recognised the possibilities Brexit presents for her to turn the UK into a dictatorship of the right, and to inducing mass unemployment and poverty.

Speaking to Sky News, May said: “Only from ruins can we build a new Jerusalem of smoggy factories, workshops, and child poverty.”

“And finally win our independence from the evil thrall of the Europeans who have dominated our country and ruled it as a colony for the past 42 years.”

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