The BBC will cease to give any coverage to anything the Labour Party say or do, it has been announced.
The BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg said: “The Conservatives won the 2015 general election, and the BBC will now respect the will of the people by completely ignoring the Labour Party.”
“The total absence of Labour from the BBC should then give the impression that Labour provide no opposition whatsoever, and subsequently we expect the popularity of the party to fall even further.”
The former Conservative Journalist of the Year added: “But don’t worry, from time to time we’ll still run negative stories on Jeremy Corbyn, like the one where we blamed him for all the delays on Southern Rail services.”
Labour’s Hilary Benn said: “I have nothing but praise for this visionary new policy of overt bias against a party I am trying to destroy from the inside.”
“I agree with anything that damages Jeremy Corbyn and his mostly left wing shadow cabinet.”
“I pray that Labour will soon abandon its unrealistic ideals such as helping the poor and vulnerable, or having proper public services, and go back to its right wing, warmongering roots.”