I love my life as a dickhead, announces Nigel Farage

Nigel Farage genuinely loves his life as a dickhead, it has emerged.

Speaking to the BBC’s Andrew Marr, Mr Farage said: “I never thought I’d live to become such a dickhead, but I’ve surpassed all expectations and done it.”

“When I stood with President Elect Donald Trump in that gold plated lift, that’s when it hit me. That’s when I realised that I’m now the world’s second most famous fascist politician alive.”

“I really love my life as a dickhead. And all my friends are dickheads too. To all the patriotic viewers at home watching this I say, come with me, let’s all be dickheads together and wreck the country by implementing our childlike ideas.”

After Marr declared his heartfelt desire to see right wing evil triumph, Farage said: “Thank you for giving a platform to my sinister far right views, Andrew, while mercilessly attacking the left at every opportunity.”

“I fully support your crusade to smear all those traitors who have the audacity to want to improve the lives of ordinary citizens, even people who are poor or not of white British stock.”

* This post includes quotes from Reuben Dangoor’s hit song ‘Being a Dickhead’s Cool’.

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