BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg wins biased right wing journalist of the year award

The BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg has won the Biased Right Wing Journalist of the Year Award, it has been announced.

Accepting the award from her boss Theresa May, Mrs Kuenssberg said: “It is an honour to accept this golden trophy, cast in the shape of a boot stamping down on a human face forever.”

“When I first joined the BBC, I did not realise how important a role I would come to play in the smearing of Jeremy Corbyn and keeping a number of massive Tory scandals out of the news.”

“Scandals such as the multiple criminal investigations into electoral fraud by the Conservative Party, or the allegation that David Cameron once performed an illegal sexual act with the head of a dead pig, either of which ought to have brought down the government and potentially landed Mr Cameron in prison.”

“By helping the right wing establishment hold onto power, I have helped them exploit and sometimes kill the poorest and most vulnerable in society, all for the benefit of the very rich.”

“As my good friend David Cameron once told me, there is no greater way to serve the country than to collude with the rich elite in their vicious war on the little people.”

Prime minister Theresa May was among those who offered praise for Kuenssberg: “Laura is a true British patriot and will surely go down as one of the greatest heroes in the history of this fascist country, the future of which I am intent on destroying by taking us out of the European Union against the wishes of the sane majority.”

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