By Horace McSavage
Theresa May has sensationally lost her temper at the repeated questions from journalists about the perilous state of the National Health Service, it has emerged.
The PM, during an appearance on breakfast TV, denied that the NHS was her responsibility and blamed just about everybody for the perilous state of the NHS, except her government: “It’s the fault of all the foreigners that the previous Labour governments let into the country, it’s the fault of doctors, it’s the fault of nurses, it’s the fault of patients, and it’s the fault of the EU that we are still a member of.”
And in an unprecedented rant she suggested that the Tory party had more important things to worry about than poor people’s health: “Oh will you just shut up about the bloody NHS for two minutes.”
“If you’re that bothered about being cured, then you should bloody well pay for treatment like any self-respecting Tory. We’ve got Brexit to worry about, and I need to focus on getting the best deal for Tory party donors, not curing cancer in people who earn under £200,000 a year.”
The PM then went on to blame the crisis on doctors not working enough hours, stating: “Why are you pestering me about it anyway? I’m not a doctor. Go and pester those overpaid, under-worked do-gooders.”
“Now if you will excuse me, I have a photoshoot with Vogue Magazine to go to, because I’m such a fashion icon.”