Remainers to have plenty of time to debate Brexit after we leave EU, say Tories

There will be plenty of time to debate Brexit after we leave the EU, the Tories have announced.

Speaking on BBC Question Time, Conservative MP James Cleverly argued: “The question of leaving the European Union has already been discussed at length in the media, in pubs and in home all over the country, so it is just unnecessary to have a proper debate about it in Parliament.”

“Of course the details are being kept secret from the people. Theresa May understands all too well that if the public were to learn the truth about how shit their lives will be once we leave the EU, particularly when we abolish worker rights and take away their quality free healthcare, then almost nobody would actually want Article 50 triggered.”

“But to avoid alerting the public to our sinister scheme to wreck their lives, the Government will continue to pretend that it is impossible to give a running commentary on plans for Brexit because we do not wish to show our hand before negotiations begin.”

“Thankfully, quite a lot of people are gullible enough to believe anything our collaborators in the right wing media tell them.”

“For those in Parliament who unpatriotically want to scrutinise the plans and ramifications of leaving the EU, you can rest assured that there will be plenty of time for Remainers to debate Brexit once Article 50 has been triggered, at which point our exit from the EU will be irreversible.”

“Frankly, Brexit is not a big issue any more, because the people have spoken. They clearly support Theresa May’s nearly bloodless coup, in which she has heroically tried to subvert democracy, the rule of law, and the constitution for the financial gain of high net worth individuals.”

Satire based on real quotes from James Cleverly on BBC Question Time, 26 Jan 2017. Youtube URL:

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