New DWP Work Capability Assessment to simply ask “are you alive?”

The Department for Work and Pensions is to bring in a new Work Capability Assessment that simply checks whether the ‘victim’ is alive, it has been announced.

A spokesperson for the Government said: “The Department for Work and Pensions is committed to creating a benefits system fit for twenty first century Tory Britain, where the needy are hounded to death, and where mercenary healthcare professionals declare everybody fit for work regardless of medical evidence.”

“Thanks to groundbreaking research by Iain Duncan Smith, it is now an established scientific fact that the Nazis were correct when they claimed ‘work sets you free’. And because Britain voted for freedom on 23 June 2016, the DWP now has a clear mandate to declare everybody fit for work, regardless of medical evidence to the contrary.”

“Our new Work Capability Assessment will be undertaken by healthcare professionals with no actual medical training, who will ask a single question: are you dead or alive?”

“If the victim is alive or unable to produce an up to date CV that proves they died in a DWP approved industrial accident, they will be declared fit for work and have their benefits stopped.”

“This is the will of the people as expressed on 23 June last year, which is irrevocable and must be respected, forever.”


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4 thoughts on “New DWP Work Capability Assessment to simply ask “are you alive?””

  1. yes …but one fundamental question remains outstanding . If you are dead and fail to turn up for an assessment , will sanctions apply ?

  2. This is a disgrace. How on earth do these MP sleep at night knowing what they are putting the disabled and vulnerable pensioners through this degrading procedure. SHAME ON THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY.

  3. There having a giraffe aren’t they , whatever happened to human rights unless the british nazi party ( Tories) also rules over the court of human rights , how dare there stampede on the poor while feeding there rich friends tax breaks after tax breaks while the poor has to survive on low wages and food banks .

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