Tories promise to conceal MASSIVE ELECTORAL FRAUD more carefully this time

The Conservative Party will do a much better job of concealing its massive electoral fraud this time, senior party figures have announced.

One senior Conservative Minister said: “Lies and electoral fraud are the only ways my party can ever win a general election, and we’re all out of lies.”

“I’m not saying we’re going to do anything criminal this time, but we’ve definitely learned lessons from 2015, when a significant number of Conservative candidates won their seats after spending much more than the legal spending limits.”

When asked to clarify the extent to which the Conservatives plan to cheat at the upcoming general election, the Minister added: “The PM is not big on making actual promises to the people, in fact she’d be happier if the working classes just didn’t exist, but what I can promise them is that my party will do literally anything to win and we will also do a much better job of concealing our electoral fraud this time around.”

“If we get found out again we can always call another snap general election to divert attention from our criminality.”

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One thought on “Tories promise to conceal MASSIVE ELECTORAL FRAUD more carefully this time”

  1. Whoops. Already caught out booking a political rally as a children’s party. At least nobody seems to have noticed Peter Lilley is a non executive director at a private company who are employed to deal with postal votes, so don’t be surprised when the majority of postal votes are for the conservatives. It’s perfectly normal and not electoral fraud or a conflict of interest at all. Nothing to see here, move along.

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