Lazy ‘basement dwellers’ who want a fairer distribution of wealth in the United States should be denied the right to vote, Hillary Clinton has claimed.
The presidential candidate told reporters: “Bill and I accumulated our vast wealth entirely legally and through nothing more than decades of really hard work, so I will not be lectured by hopeless basement dwellers who have considerably less wealth, and thus less societal worth, than Bill and I.”
“Their demands for a fairer distribution of wealth are dangerous and could cause significant losses for my Wall Street friends, who definitely have no influence over me despite their large donations to my campaign to buy the presidency.”
“And that is why, if elected President of the United States, I will immediately ban disaffected millennials from exercising their right to vote, especially if they might be considering voting for somebody like Bernie Sanders.”
Mrs. Clinton added: “I will also immediately ban that photo of me boarding a plane after I had accidentally shat myself.”
This post is satirical and contains quotes that are untrue.