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Jeremy Corbyn caused Second World War, claims Ben Bradshaw

Jeremy Corbyn caused the Second World War, right wing Labour MP Ben Bradshaw has claimed.

Speaking exclusively to Newscrasher, Mr Bradshaw said: “Jeremy Corbyn didn’t just cause Labour’s defeats in the 2010 and 2015 general elections, he is also clearly responsible for our loss in Copeland and the outbreak of the Second World War.”

“However, Labour’s victory in the Stoke Central by election was thanks to the amazing legacy left by Tony Blair and the right wing faction of Labour, and was definitely nothing to do with Jeremy at all.”

“Many of us in the Parliamentary Labour Party also strongly believe that Corbyn is largely responsible for the Iraq war. Although Jeremy did try to stop the Iraq war, the fact of the matter is he just didn’t oppose it strongly enough, which places the blame for the war and all the death and destruction squarely with him and not with people like me who voted for it.”

Labour’s Jess Phillips has backed Mr Bradshaw’s comments, saying: “I never supported Jeremy Corbyn from day one, and have been waging war on him non stop. He’s to blame for everything, including the perpetual infighting that people like me have instigated.”

“Jeremy should resign right now because of the way he caused World War Two and the Iraq War. I think it is time he made way for someone like me.”

I would definitely like to be leader and I think I would be brilliant, not just because I would make loads of brilliant jokes about male suicide, but also because I am me and I am really amazing.”

Backstabbing careerists like Ben Bradshaw are the good guys, says Luke Akehurst

Backstabbing careerists who have been sabotaging Jeremy Corbyn from day one of his leadership are in fact the good guys, Luke Akehurst has claimed.

The former Labour NEC member said: “It is wrong to say that left wing humanists within the Labour Party are the good guys in the battle we on the right have forced them into.”

“I have secret evidence that they are evil satanic monsters, and that Blairite careerists like Ben Bradshaw are in fact the good guys here.”

“And that is why my Twitter feed is almost entirely devoted to abusing Jeremy Corbyn and his supporters, with precious little mention of the Conservative Government’s cruel policies, many of which I broadly agree with.”

“It is essential that the voting public are forced to choose between two right wing Thatcherite parties, and for this reason Labour absolutely must remain on the right at all costs.”

The Labour MP for Exeter, Ben Bradshaw, said: “I am honoured that a right winger like Mr Akehurst would hold me up as an example of an uncaring careerist who pretends to have Labour values to get elected, but who actually works against the interests of the poor and vulnerable.”