Tag Archives: benefits

Iain Duncan Smith to release uplifting film about people who died after benefits got stopped

Iain Duncan Smith will release an uplifting film about people who died shortly after their benefits got sanctioned, it has been announced.

It is understood that the film is intended to counter what Mr Duncan Smith called ‘the left wing fantasy’ of Ken Loach’s latest film, and is written and directed by the former Minister for Work and Pensions himself.

The professional liar told Newscrasher: “I am proud of my record of killing a large number of benefit claimants via unfair cuts and sanctions, and I wanted to make an uplifting film about that.”

“However, unlike Ken Loach, I wanted to make a film that is not based on the real life experiences of anybody, ever. It will be based on true events, but only because people really are dying as a consequence of having their benefits sanctioned. Everything else will be purely fictional.”

The provision title of the film is reported to be ‘I Duncan Smith’, although there is said to be some debate about whether to change to Mr Duncan Smith’s reportedly preferred title ‘I Came, I Saw, You Starved to Death in a Freezing Home’.

Speaking to Sky News, right wing hack Toby Young said: “There’s a particularly moving scene where Ian just walks over and tips a disabled lady out of her wheel chair, right in the middle of a Job Centre and screams at her: ‘Get up, get up, I command you to stand on your own two feet, and I’ll sanction anybody here who tries to help this woman’.”

“I was moved to tears, tears of joy, at seeing Mr Duncan Smith’s commitment to brutalising those most in need of help from the state.”

After watching the trailer, the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg also praised the film: “At last, a film that shows the positive side of Ian Duncan Smith’s visionary policy of hounding the poor, the sick and the disabled to their deaths through stress, starvation and homelessness.”

“The fact that Jeremy Corbyn has refuses to accept the wisdom of Ian Duncan Smith’s war on the poor just goes to show how utterly unelectable he is.”

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IDS slams Ken Loach for being ‘out of touch’ with spivs and high net worth individuals

Iain Duncan Smith has criticised left-wing film-maker Ken Loach for being out of touch with spivs and high net worth individuals, it has emerged.

The former Minister for Manslaughter said: “It’s all very well Ken Loach making films about the supposed plight of people who I plunged into poverty during my tenure as Minister for Manslaughter, but he needs to realise how out of touch he has become to spivs and high net worth individuals who don’t pay any tax.”

“The plot of his new film, ‘I, Daniel Blake’ paints an inaccurate picture of the lives of people who need to use benefits in order to survive.”

“When benefit claimants are sanctioned, they gain the freedom to take control and look for new opportunities to identify efficiency savings, such as starving or freezing to death due to lack of money.”

“Many claimants whose benefits were stopped for no good reason quickly freed themselves from having to pay extortionate rents to greedy landlords, some of whom are Tory MPs, by becoming homeless and living on the streets.”

“In addition, numerous actors paid by the DWP to make statements in support of my fantasy have thanked me for helping to turn their lives around through my cruel regime of sanctions and fitness to work assessments.”

“I am truly proud of my record as Minister for Manslaughter, but I’m even prouder of my exceptionally bald head.”

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My war on benefits is like second world war fight against Hitler, says Iain Duncan Smith

Iain Duncan Smith has vowed to continue his war on benefits despite stiff resistance from the Lords, likening it to the struggle against Adolf Hitler during the second world war.

Speaking to the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg, the Secretary of State said he wanted to “end the virtual slavery of benefit dependence and replace it with actual slavery.”

Continuing, former Conservative leader said: “I’m battling for Britain against the benefits culture that blights the lives of millions of hard working taxpayers, particularly those earning £100,000 or more, much like we battled for Britain against Hitler and his socialist regime during the second world war.”

When asked whether those on the left who oppose his policies are the devil incarnate, Mr Duncan Smith replied: “Yes, and their humanitarianism is the expression of stupidity and cowardice.”

Alluding to a recent News Crasher campaign to have Mr Duncan Smith prosecuted, he added: “As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice. I believe today that my conduct is in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator.”

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Remove benefit claimants from electoral register, demands Iain Duncan Smith

Iain Duncan Smith has reportedly demanded that those in receipt of benefits be removed from the electoral register, according to a letter leaked to the press today.

The Work and Pensions Secretary justified his request by arguing that it is unfair that people not currently paying into the system, either through working or by being high net wealth individuals, should be allowed to have a say in how public money is spent.

His letter to the Prime Minister went on to suggest that withdrawing the right to vote in this way, would provide a “much needed incentive for the workshy, ill and disabled to find work”, and for those in work to stay “in work and off benefits”. The letter also questioned whether those under the age of 25, who tend to be “more prone to idealism”, ought to be permitted to vote, albeit with a possible exception “for members of the Young Conservatives.”

There is speculation in Westminster that the timing of this letter is related to the upcoming referendum on whether the UK should leave the EU, and a possible snap general election that some are predicting to take place thereafter. In this context, barring  voters who are the least likely to vote for ‘Brexit’ or for the Conservative Party, may be seen by some as a useful measure.

A DWP spokeswoman refused to comment directly on the leaked letter, but told reporters: “Iain Duncan Smith believes that in a perfect world everybody would be able to enjoy a full suite of human rights, but with rights come responsibilities, and some rights should only be granted to those who have paid-in.”

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Privatise food banks says Iain Duncan Smith

Work and pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith has provoked renewed outrage with a new proposal to privatise food banks. Private companies would be allowed to operate food banks for profit, conditional on the implementation of a strict regime of sanctions to be decided by DWP officials.

Food banks are not for profit organisations which provide food to those who are unable to buy sufficient food to avoid hunger or malnutrition — problems which are often the direct result of benefit cuts or sanctions.

G4S, expected to be among those preparing a bid to run food banks across the country, caused a furor last month when they published a report proposing that food bank users should be electronically tagged and should be made clearly identifiable by wearing a special badge.

A spokesperson for the DWP said: “Iain Duncan Smith is leading a revolution against welfare, and it’s essential that nothing stands in the way of the DWP’s plan to starve the sick, disabled and unemployed into a zero-hours contract at Poundland.”

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