Tag Archives: budget

Cut in disability benefit equal to Cabinet drug and prostitution budget increase

The savings from George Osborne’s proposed £30 a week cut to disability benefits is exactly equal to the proposed increase in the Cabinet’s drug and prostitution budget, the Institute for Taxation and Expenditure Studies (ITES) has found.

It has long been an open secret that a minority of MPs sometimes partake in the use of illegal drugs and prostitution, but its explicit inclusion in the 2016 budget will be seen by many observers as a tacit acknowledgement of that fact.

The BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg has called the move “a political master-stroke by the greatest UK Chancellor of all time” and a sign of Osborne’s “commitment to transparency and liberal ideals, akin to the abolition of slavery.”

Former Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg said: “After I stabbed Liberal Democrat voters in the back and took our party into the Conservative-led Coalition government in 2010, I was utterly horrified to see that recreational drugs and prostitution were rife during our Cabinet meetings.”

“However, I didn’t bother to speak out about this or any of the other evil shit the Tories did. Well, not until the Tories were safely installed in government with a majority, and my party’s electoral chances were left in ruins.”

Despite continued speculation in some sections of the media over the details, the quantity and type of prostitutes and illicit drugs are not stated in the Budget documentation, nor are the names of those who would participate.

A government spokesman declined to comment directly on the claims, but told Newscrasher: “Sometimes it is necessary to include contingency expenses in the budget to pay potential expenses that may end up being necessary for the smooth running of government.”

FacebookWhatsAppGoogle+RedditLinkedInPinterest

Heartless bastard warns more poor and disabled may need to die

Chancellor George Osborne has today warned that more of the poor and disabled may need to die, due to new and unnecessary spending cuts in the upcoming budget.

Mr Osborne told Fox News’ political editor Laura Kuenssberg that global economic issues and reduced growth meant “we may need to undertake further reductions” in the poor and disabled populace.

He said in the exclusive interview with Kuenssberg, a political ally of the Conservative Party: “We may need to undertake further reductions in the number of people on benefits because this country can only afford what it can afford and we’ll address that in the Budget because I’m absolutely clear we’ve got to root our country in the principle that we live within our means and that we have economic security.”

He went on to say the “whole purpose of our economic plan was to accelerate our redistribution of wealth from the poor, disabled and vulnerable to the retirees and the wealthy, to whom this country owes so much.”

He added: “All welfare and a decent education does is produce Labour voters. Because of this we are committed to plunging poor families into abject poverty and to destroying their educational chances, as this will make Great Britain Great Great Britain again.”

The Taxpayers’ Alliance campaign group has welcomed the plans.

FacebookWhatsAppGoogle+RedditLinkedInPinterest