Tag Archives: calais

I didn’t realise Britain was an island, says Dominic Raab

I didn’t realise Britain was an island, Dominic Raab has admitted.

During a speech about Britain’s future outside the EU, the Brexit Secretary said: “The question of how we will be able to import food and medicines after we leave the EUSSR is way more complicated than I thought when I mindlessly decided leaving would be a good idea, and since being appointed Brexit Secretary I’ve had to do countless minutes of research into subjects like basic geography.”

“Some of what I have learnt has seriously blown my mind. For example, not a lot of people know that we live on an island, but after reading a Wikipedia entry I can confirm right now that Great Britain really is thought to be an island according to the best experts we have.”

“It is also separated from France by a narrow stretch of water, which is too deep to wade through, and some experts suggest it is usually impassable to lorries carrying food and other vital supplies, although our negotiating team aims to overturn this as we continue to flesh out a deal with the EU.”