Tag Archives: ken loach

Iain Duncan Smith to release uplifting film about people who died after benefits got stopped

Iain Duncan Smith will release an uplifting film about people who died shortly after their benefits got sanctioned, it has been announced.

It is understood that the film is intended to counter what Mr Duncan Smith called ‘the left wing fantasy’ of Ken Loach’s latest film, and is written and directed by the former Minister for Work and Pensions himself.

The professional liar told Newscrasher: “I am proud of my record of killing a large number of benefit claimants via unfair cuts and sanctions, and I wanted to make an uplifting film about that.”

“However, unlike Ken Loach, I wanted to make a film that is not based on the real life experiences of anybody, ever. It will be based on true events, but only because people really are dying as a consequence of having their benefits sanctioned. Everything else will be purely fictional.”

The provision title of the film is reported to be ‘I Duncan Smith’, although there is said to be some debate about whether to change to Mr Duncan Smith’s reportedly preferred title ‘I Came, I Saw, You Starved to Death in a Freezing Home’.

Speaking to Sky News, right wing hack Toby Young said: “There’s a particularly moving scene where Ian just walks over and tips a disabled lady out of her wheel chair, right in the middle of a Job Centre and screams at her: ‘Get up, get up, I command you to stand on your own two feet, and I’ll sanction anybody here who tries to help this woman’.”

“I was moved to tears, tears of joy, at seeing Mr Duncan Smith’s commitment to brutalising those most in need of help from the state.”

After watching the trailer, the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg also praised the film: “At last, a film that shows the positive side of Ian Duncan Smith’s visionary policy of hounding the poor, the sick and the disabled to their deaths through stress, starvation and homelessness.”

“The fact that Jeremy Corbyn has refuses to accept the wisdom of Ian Duncan Smith’s war on the poor just goes to show how utterly unelectable he is.”

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IDS slams Ken Loach for being ‘out of touch’ with spivs and high net worth individuals

Iain Duncan Smith has criticised left-wing film-maker Ken Loach for being out of touch with spivs and high net worth individuals, it has emerged.

The former Minister for Manslaughter said: “It’s all very well Ken Loach making films about the supposed plight of people who I plunged into poverty during my tenure as Minister for Manslaughter, but he needs to realise how out of touch he has become to spivs and high net worth individuals who don’t pay any tax.”

“The plot of his new film, ‘I, Daniel Blake’ paints an inaccurate picture of the lives of people who need to use benefits in order to survive.”

“When benefit claimants are sanctioned, they gain the freedom to take control and look for new opportunities to identify efficiency savings, such as starving or freezing to death due to lack of money.”

“Many claimants whose benefits were stopped for no good reason quickly freed themselves from having to pay extortionate rents to greedy landlords, some of whom are Tory MPs, by becoming homeless and living on the streets.”

“In addition, numerous actors paid by the DWP to make statements in support of my fantasy have thanked me for helping to turn their lives around through my cruel regime of sanctions and fitness to work assessments.”

“I am truly proud of my record as Minister for Manslaughter, but I’m even prouder of my exceptionally bald head.”

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