Tag Archives: osborne

Osborne poll boost as Chancellor overtakes Adolf Hitler

Hard-right Chancellor George Osborne has received a major boost to his popularity, a recent Yougov poll suggests.

The new poll suggests Mr. Osborne has seen a substantial increase in his popularity since his omnishambles 2016 Budget, with his approval rating having increased from -99 to -97, overtaking Adolf Hitler to become the second least popular Chancellor in the history of the world.

The accompanying report from a Yougov analyst argues that although the increase in popularity is statistically significant, it is likely to be caused by the fact that the Chancellor’s cruel policies are predominantly killing off those with whom he is least popular.

Speaking about his growing popularity, the hard-right Chancellor said: “Adolf Hitler was great in his own way, and on a personal level it is a true honour to know that the British public hold me in even higher esteem than Hitler, despite the fact that I have not yet caused the level of misery and death than the Fuhrer achieved under his own long-term economic plans.”


Osborne discovered hiding in a hole with Coke and a half-eaten cat

After several days missing, Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has been found alive and well, much to the relief of a vanishingly small number of people.

Mr Osborne left 11 Downing Street on Thursday citing an ‘urgent hair-cut appointment’ and was not seen until this morning, when worried civil servants found him in a hole dug in the back garden of 10 Downing Street.

Osborne was reportedly recovered in a semi-deranged state, ranting about how Iain Duncan Smith was the fault of Jeremy Corbyn.

During his disappearance, Osborne’s only sustenance is believed to have been a value pack of Coke and Larry the Downing Street cat, who was last seen by the PM on Friday morning.

Treasury officials have denied the chancellor has had an actual breakdown: “On Thursday evening the Chancellor left for an urgent hair cut appointment, and then began a meditative break to reconnect with nature here in the City of Westminster. Rejuvenated by his break the Chancellor looks forward to resuming work, just as soon as the fall-out from his shambolic budget fuck-up has blown over.”

Mr Osborne was unavailable for comment.