Tag Archives: retirement

Tories to raise retirement age to 100

Amid the general melee of the EU referendum campaigning, the Government have today attempted to bury yet more bad news. In a low key briefing, it was announced that the retirement age is to be raised to 100.

At a sparsely attended press conference, Minister of State for Employment Priti Patel said: “I have always agreed with Iain Duncan Smith and Adolf Hitler that works sets you free. And by raising the retirement age to 100, we will be able to free pensioners from reliance on handouts from hard working people, in addition to freeing those earning more than £100,000, who will see substantial tax cuts due to the resulting savings.”

“Whilst it is only fair that today’s hardworking pensioners get the retirement they deserve, today’s young are feckless and retirement would clearly destroy the motivation and innovation of the elderly to vote Conservative.”

“The Government has launched an independent review of the retirement age, and we are sure that the authors of the report, all loyal retired senior civil servants, will conclude from the available evidence that our plan is absolutely correct.”
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