As the political storm surrounding the Cameron family’s tax affairs intensifies, the Prime Minister has once again attempted to justify his dubious offshore tax arrangements.
Visibly angry at being asked difficult questions by people who don’t know their place, Mr Cameron snarled: “Tax is for the little people, and those earning less than £100,000 a year. At six foot two and being from a wealthy family, I shouldn’t have to bother with things like honesty or actually paying my taxes.”
“I don’t know why you journalists are going round setting fire to each other over a trivial matter like my tax dodging, when I’ve done things that are far more illegal and damaging to the national interest.”
Taking to Twitter in defence of the Prime Minister, Laura Kuenssberg wrote: “PM doing nothing illegal, rich tax dodgers help poor via trickle down effect”.
Democratic Party hopeful Hillary Clinton has today shocked the country by parading her left-wing credentials. At a packed news conference, Hillary raised the stakes in her battle with social democrat Bernie Sanders by claiming to be “even more socialist than Bernie.”
Mrs Clinton said: “Thanks to my superior wealth creation ability, I’ve paid way more in taxes than Bernie, despite being a lot younger and not having the benefit of white privilege. And all those taxes have gone to help pay for things like medicare and other public services Bill and I are way too rich to use.”
“The vast personal wealth I’ve amassed during my career in politics is merely resting in my account; just as soon as I’m elected president of the United States, this money will be donated to a variety of charities and causes to improve the lives of the poorest and most vulnerable in our horribly unequal society. That’s 32,015,000 reasons to choose me as the Democratic Party’s presidential candidate.”
The announcement was greeted with some skepticism. There have even been suggestions that this is a cynical, last-ditch attempt to steal support from Bernie Sanders, after he overtook Clinton in the polls this week.