Tag Archives: twitter

Twat who urged ‘take back control’ is now OK with foreign leader choosing our ambassadors

By Jeff Sanchez and Dorothy Hotdog

A Twat who urged British voters to ‘take back control’ from foreign politicians is now perfectly OK with a foreign leader choosing our ambassadors, it has emerged.

Ranting on Twitter, Nigel Farage said: “In voting to leave the EU the British people decided to take back control from foreign governments. I now call on the British government to listen to the president elect of America and immediately appoint me ambassador.”

“I believe that my stunning hypocrisy is justified by the fact that I would definitely be the greatest fascist ambassador in the history of this country.”

“Failing that, I think I should be made prime minister, again by presidential decree.”

“I am definitely not in the pay of  foreign power, especially not Russia. Definitely not. There is absolutely no evidence to back that up. And those EU expenses were merely resting in our account.”


Nigel Farage complains this would never have been allowed under the Nazis

Acting fuhrer of the United Kingdom Independence Party Nigel Farage has reacted angrily after the British government refused his ‘entirely reasonable’ demand to be appointed British ambassador to the USA, it has emerged.

Tweeting on Twitter, Mr Farage said: “This is an outrage which would never have been allowed to happen under the Nazis.”

Writing on a far-right website, the alleged fraudster went into more detail: “I’ve spent most of my political career stoking hatred and resentment against foreigners and the EU, and all I ask in return is to be given a position that will allow me to spread my bigoted views even more widely. Is that too much to ask?”

“As ambassador, I could work wonders for the people of Britain by advancing the cause of fascism at home, and also in our close ally the United States.”

“Now that the survivors of the world’s last big experiment with fascism are almost gone, and their ungrateful kid are now calling the shots, I think this is probably a good time to give Nazism, death camps and total war another shot.”