Tories demand action over ‘left wing bias’ of electorate

Immediate action must be taken over an alleged ‘left wing bias’ in the British electorate, Tories have demanded.

Speaking on Newsnight, Iain Duncan Smith said: “Over the last few weeks we’ve seen the British electorate gradually turn its back on Theresa May, and warm to Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour.”

“There are a number of complex reasons why Britain has become more left wing since 2010, but this is nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that our sick policies have caused many early deaths among the poor and disabled, some of whom died through starvation or shortly after being declared fit to work.”

“Irrespective of the reasons, this left wing bias in the electorate is unfair on the Conservatives and I demand that the authorities take urgent action to address it.”

“There needs to be a level playing field, something that would allow lying shits like me to put out all kinds of sick propaganda without being called out by the media.”

“Conservative councils could act by forgetting to send out postal ballot papers to Labour areas, accidentally on purpose of course. They could also consider supplying polling station staff with the 2015 electoral register instead of the 2017 version, disenfranchising all the newly registered young voters who will mostly vote Labour.”

“Otherwise, we Tories would never, ever get elected. And if we can’t get elected, how would be we able to siphon off public money to give to our spiv friends and, sometimes, ourselves?”

 

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