Speaking exclusively to Newscrasher about his decision to resign from the Department of Work and Pensions, Iain Duncan Smith has explained how he found his conscience and abandoned his campaign of terror against those who are disabled, sick, or unemployed.
“For years i asked Betsy to see if she could find my conscience, and after a root around in the loft of our holiday home in the south of France, she found it discarded in a box that hadn’t been opened since 1991.”
“I opened it last night and the immediate warm glow made me realise what a complete bastard I’d been for all these years.”
“I can only apologise to all the disabled people I screwed over. I know that I caused thousands of deaths, but with my conscience now regained I can finally take a stand against David Cameron and back Jeremy Corbyn fully.”
“I look forward to the Labour party processing my application as soon as possible. Keep the red flag flying, comrades!”