Theresa May in U-turn over nude PMQ appearance

The Prime Minister has now abandoned all plans to attend Parliament fully nude, it has emerged.

Mrs. May is said to have told key allies of plans to rush through a raft of measures ranging from surveillance of what people do in their lavatories, to logging the preferred gender and body-type of those who view internet pornography, in order to fight terrorism and thought crime.

The Prime Minister was said to be very keen to make her argument as convincing as possible, and had planned to use the classic ‘if you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to fear’ argument, all while standing completely nude at the dispatch box.

It is not clear when or why Theresa May backed away from her planned nude appearance in Parliament. However, an anonymous cabinet member has suggested that cost may have been an issue, with Mrs. May’s husband reportedly being unhappy at having to pay out for a significant makeover for his wife at a time when he is trying to increase his shareholding in several companies that are poised to take over the soon to be outsourced NHS and Trident nuclear deterrent.

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