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Theresa May vows to make Britain a ‘hostile environment’ for anyone not rich

Theresa May will address inequality by making Britain a ‘hostile environment’ for anyone who is not rich, it has been reported.

Speaking during an intimate interview with the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg, the Prime Minister said: “I now acknowledge that inequality is a growing problem for my government, because despite our weak claims to the contrary, rising inequality is hard proof that we are governing for the few, not the many.”

“And that is why I intend to make this country a hostile environment for anyone who is not rich. We will end inequality once and for all, simply by getting rid of the poor.”

“By crashing the economy, as we Tories so often do, we will induce millions of young or less well off people to emigrate to other countries, preferably to majority white commonwealth countries rather than European ones, leaving behind high net worth individuals and baby-boomers who usually vote Conservative.”

“Any low net worth Britons who refuse to emigrate will be dealt with according to Iain Duncan Smith’s blueprint for hounding the vulnerable to an early grave. If bullying and starvation doesn’t get them, then our merciless cuts to the NHS surely will.”

Idiot Tory voter Chris Bumfield told Newscrasher: “I know nothing about economics, but the false analogies peddled by the Conservatives about household budgets and living within our means have convinced me that my children’s lives should be utterly ruined by needless austerity and cuts, because of a global recession that Labour are said to have caused.”

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