The secretary of state for education, Nicky Morgan, has today unveiled plans for children to pay their way through school. Factories are to be built on school playing fields, in which pupils would work to pay for their tuition.
Mrs Morgan said: “Our radical proposals are based on what voters up and down the country told us they wanted at the recent general election, and we are proud to bring British state education into the twelfth century. Families will have more choice in the education system than ever, and pupils will now be able to obtain significant vocation training to boost their career opportunities.”
A spokesperson for Mrs Morgan added: “Children will be able to choose from a variety of exciting and rewarding roles, from iPad assembly line operatives, to factory canteen staff, to telephone sanitizers, setting them in good stead for a lifetime of indentured labour for their wealthy overlords.”
It is understood that families will have the option to pay a £10,000 annual tuition fee if they choose full time education for their child, with the option to undergo work experience as a member of the board of directors.