Only right-leaning media which are owned or controlled by Tories should be allowed to publish ‘fake news’, Labour’s Tom Watson has argued.
Speaking to Newscrasher, Deputy Labour Leader Tom Watson complained: “The internet and social media in particular have opened up frightening new possibilities for left wing people to share left wing opinions to a large audience, in direct competition to this country’s cherished right wing media outlets like the Sun, the Daily Mail, or the BBC.”
“In the past, people like me enjoyed relative freedom from criticism in the media as long as we didn’t do anything radical like try to help people who are poor. That kind of thing tends to anger rich media barons like Rupert Murdoch.”
“Unfortunately, there are now a number of left leaning news websites which support antichrist vampire Jeremy Corbyn, and if that isn’t bad enough, they have been willing to expose my scheme to ensure the Labour under Corbyn is disunited and unable to mount any serious opposition to the government.”
Mr. Watson continued: “Websites such as The Canary or Evolve Politics have been particularly effective at challenging our right wing narrative. Although these websites are far more truthful than the Sun or Mail, my crony Michael Dugher is going to brand them ‘fake news’ sites in an attempt to discredit them. Of course, in a sense they are fake news because they support Jeremy Corbyn and not me.”
Micheal Dugher, who is tasked with leading a crusade against left wing independent media, also said: “It would be great if we could have them all banned, along with satire sites too. More often than now, they are worryingly close to the truth and are damaging my faction’s repeated attempts to overthrow Jeremy Corbyn, who has repeatedly failed to acknowledge Tom’s decree that this is a right wing party now.”
“I wish we could just uninvent the internet and go back to the days when people had no choice but to believe the outright lies published by right wing media Barons like Rupert Murdoch.”
This story is, of course, satirical.